RM: Well what can we afford?
ME: Dude we have like 18 bucks here, that's not even enough for a gram. You want to smoke half a blunt? Like really what's that going to do besides tease us? I-
RM: Well let me check my bank.
ME: No don't even bother cracking opening your piggy bank. No this situation (aptly titled The Sitch!), requires big people money here not-
RM: SMASH*
ME: HOLY SHIT DUDE THERE'S LIKE 1000$ DOLLARS THERE!
RM: I know.
ME: Where did you get all that money?
RM: Oh I kill people. Then I take their money and put it here. Yeah i've been doing it for a while, I really like it!
ME: You're fucking crazy!
RM: I think we have enough here for a QP
ME: Crazy Awesome!
Posts
2 comments:
I have a little baby pinch of weed left. Come take it from me. I smoked a joint by myself last night, anticipating great fun and relier. But no. My shower was a fucking boat, and it felt like someone else was washing my hair. Once I made it out, I saw myself in the mirror with heavy eyelids over pink eyeballs with a thick coat of brown mascara embedded underneath. It was terrifying. I put on some music and hid under the covers for a while, but I started feeling pretty nauseous because the fucking blanket was trying to strangle me. So then I went into my bathroom, absolutely convinced that if I didn't, I would have puked all over my bed. But as I was leaned over the toilet, the only thing that came out of my mouth was spit. Haha. What the fuck. I was so mad. I went back to bed, and suddenly a corner of my blanket looked like a kitten. I tried touching the corner to make the kitten disappear, but instead the kitten started interacting with me. Which was cute, but kind of disturbing. Kate had a ton of people over for a dinner party, and the entire time I was nervous someone would come in and try to talk to me. Anyway. Up until I realized that I could make love to music, it was a pretty awful experience. I'm so fucking done with weed. So done. (Until I get super wasted.)
PS: My phone got shut off yesterday, so sorry if you tried to contact me and I didn't answer. It wasn't intentional.
Post a Comment